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“We should stop seeing each other.” What kind of emotion is expressed in this sentence? Is it a petition or resolute decision? The “we” here indicates not merely the “others”; there is more of expecting to part with split ego/self. Our bodies are vessels for feelings and illnesses. Desire drives us to regress to ourselves, but at times it drives us further away. All my doings are asking for responses of anyone. Where it begins at where it ends.
Sadness and anxiety are the origin of my art making. I keep waiting for someone to return, and for someone to say goodbye. I stopped fighting darkness and melancholy, and my silhouette is getting blurry. I have to do something before that, or forgetting will take away everything, my metaphor, my projecting, and myself.
This thesis is comprised of four chapters. The first chapter cuts directly into my soul and personal experiences, and conveys that everything came from spiritual flow. Although emotional textures are instable, my video/images are my ideas, which is undeniable. The second chapter talks about how behavior pattern shaped by Eros embodies my imagination and represents another illusion. Such intention has nothing to do with gain and loss, vanity, and therapy. This repeated process of embodying and representing will be put under scrutiny to find out clues for piecing up the meaning of “art making.” The third and forth chapters reviews my path of four years of art making to find a new experience of seeing.
My behavior afloat with will. I have to build a “Studium ” for myself. All these illusions might not be read in a whole, but each actual “event” really happened. Nothing comes up from nothing. And such behavior will continue, and events will keep happening.
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