本論文從研究者好奇自己『逃』的行為，開啟自我的探索歷程，文本當中研究者的難題是，常常無法為自己發聲，陷落在不清不楚的模糊與混亂，且難題常會在面對權威者或是衝突時顯現，久而久之讓自我感覺變得僵化且麻木，同時也對外界不知不覺，顯現在人際關係當中像是一種隔離。
藉由自我敘說的方式，梳理自己與權威意象互動的轉變，反思及調整我與家庭互動的方法，透過此轉變以及自我敘說的探索，發現自己在關係中的眼光與行動，也經歷了個人典範的轉移。藉由自我的辯證、行動創造出與自我對話的方法，面對關係的眼光從二元的對立走到建構、合作的過程，使得自己在難題當中得以保有自己，也能接觸他人。
關鍵字：權威與衝突，逃避，自我照顧

This thesis has begun from the researcher’s curiosity of the intention of running away from the conflicts in relationships, and facing the dilemma of unable to speak up for herself with authorities. As a result to the unsolved dilemma, the researcher often stuck with the chaos from time to time and finds herself gradually become inflexible and self-isolated in interpersonal relationships.

By adopting self-narrative as research method, the researcher is able to reflect on how the interaction with parents affects the researcher’s inner image of authority. During the process of self- dialectic, creating new behavior and self-dialogue, the researcher has realized how her self-image affected her behavior in the situation of responding to authorities. In conclusion, the researcher is now able to move from binary opposition to new collaborative relationship, which allows herself to be in relationships and still have authentic connection with others at the same time, even with authorities.
Keywords: Authority and Conflict, Escape, Self-care

目 錄
在開始之前········································································1
第一章 初心···································································5
第一節 開放脆弱的勇氣·····················································6
第二節 關於我那些未被聽見、看見的失落·····························9
第三節 藉由自我敘說想達到的目的·····································10
第二章 找尋的方法·······················································13
第一節 敘說與我的交會····················································13
第二節 我想說什麼樣的自我敘說········································14
第三節 我會如何說··························································16
第三章 從工作卡關開始················································23
第一節 助人熱忱與職場老么的消磨····································23
第二節 我與人的距離······················································25
第三節 引領我至今的歸屬地－家·······································27
第四節 我與家的距離······················································28
第五節 與家的第一次行動················································30
第四章 看見我的停留與轉身·········································33
第一節 躲在高塔的自我保護·············································33
第二節 真實的逃跑·························································36
第三節 關於我的逃與不逃················································37
第四節 與家的第二次行動················································40
第五章 原來是害怕················································43
第一節 意識··································································43
第二節 重新回看與面對···················································44
第三節 那些逃不了的害怕················································46
第四節 誰是我的權威······················································54
第六章 重新長大···················································59
第一節 絕望後的重生······················································60
第二節 從體驗學習························································64
第三節 陪伴··································································72
第七章 考驗・連結・對話·······································77
第一節 與家的第三次行動生·············································77
第二節 理解之路····························································79
第三節 真正的聲音與渴望················································84
第四節 新眼光與實踐······················································85
第八章 走到現在···················································93
第一節 回應初衷··························································93
第二節 他人如何看·························································95
第三節 回到助人··························································97
第四節 走回自己··························································98
後記·····································································105
參考文獻········································································113
附錄 繪本【找到你了！】·······································115
圖 次
圖一：眼淚··········································································3
圖二：探索··········································································8
圖三：敘說方法流程圖··························································20
圖四：敘說架構圖································································22
圖五：隔離·········································································26
圖六：想像中家庭成員排列的樣貌···········································29
圖七：實際的家族系統排列樣貌··············································29
圖八：參與歷程性繪畫的片段·················································39
圖九：接觸·········································································44
圖十：觀望·········································································52
圖十一：隱藏······································································53
圖十二：斷線的木偶·····························································56
圖十三：面對的力量·····························································60
圖十四：僵住與爆炸·····························································62
圖十五：好奇······································································71
圖十六：陪伴······································································75
圖十七：掙扎與解脫·····························································83
圖十八：新草地 ·································································92
圖十九：我和自己······························································104

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網路資料
女人迷(2019)，專訪吳青峰：傷害發生，只能為自己療傷的還是只有自己。https://womany.net/read/article/21550?stm=8pfepnb4n7urghxawi&utm_campaign=wsharetools&utm_medium=social&utm_source=email(2020/5/30查詢)