臺灣博碩士論文加值系統

本論文旨在探討害怕失敗心理如何影響人生決定。研究採用自我敘說研究法，研究者將以敘說的方式，以時間軸的方式從家庭生活、求學歷程、工作經驗，將自身生命中的重要事件組織成一個連貫、有系統的生命歷程。研究者過去曾擔任四年國小代理教師，其中三年兼任行政職，而在兼任行政職的其中兩年同時進修日間部碩士班與教育學程，但過程中因為害怕來不及完成學業、害怕無法維持良好的工作與教學品質，不斷壓縮休息的時間，導致生理與心理狀況同時急速惡化。
於是，在經歷了人生的最低潮後，我選擇踏上敘說的旅程。回頭從「孩子」、「少年」等求學階段出發，檢視自己一路走來是什麼事件或原因驅使自己做出了種種人生決定。
在旅程中，研究者看見了小時候因體罰而生的恐懼；看見孤獨讓自己開始在意他人的眼光；從目睹霸凌的反應看見原生家庭經驗帶來的無意識行為繼承；看見了自己如何在學習到新的思維模式後用以趨避失敗，看見了自己在守護一段段感情的努力與無力，看見了自己面臨四年教師生涯的高峰與低谷所做出選擇背後隱含的枷鎖。
最後，在旅程告一段落後，研究者找到了前行的方向，透過「無條件接納自我」的練習、「重新定義失敗，培養成長思維」、「外化問題」、「珍惜友伴」來面對自己的過去、現在，以及未來，期待自己能夠重新出發，面對自己與往後的每個當下。期待本研究能與曾經歷或正在經歷相似經驗的讀者，透過敘說與閱讀的互動中產生共感或思維的碰撞，讓在閱讀這份生命歷程的讀者，找到一些面對生命與自己對話的靈感。

This thesis aims to explore how the fear of failure influences life decisions. The study employs a self-narrative research method, where the researcher organizes significant life events into a coherent and systematic life journey using a timeline, covering family life, educational experiences, and work history. The researcher previously worked as a substitute teacher in elementary school for four years, with three years also serving in an administrative role. During two of these years, the researcher simultaneously pursued a master's degree and an education program in a daytime course. However, due to fears of not completing the studies on time and concerns about maintaining high work and teaching quality, the researcher continuously cut down on rest time, leading to rapid deterioration of both physical and mental health.
Thus, after experiencing the lowest point in life, the researcher chose to embark on a journey of narrative. Reflecting from the stages of "child" and "adolescent" schooling, the researcher examined what events or reasons drove various life decisions. During the journey, the researcher saw the fear born from corporal punishment in childhood; how loneliness made one start to care about others' opinions; how witnessing bullying revealed the unconscious behavioral inheritance from original family experiences; how new thinking patterns were learned to avoid failure; the efforts and helplessness in protecting relationships; and the choices made during the highs and lows of a four-year teaching career, which implied hidden shackles.
Finally, after concluding the journey, the researcher found a direction forward. By practicing "unconditional self-acceptance," "redefining failure to cultivate a growth mindset," "externalizing problems," and "cherishing friendships," the researcher aimed to face the past, present, and future, hoping to restart and face every moment with oneself. It is hoped that this study can resonate or spark thoughts among readers who have experienced or are experiencing similar situations through the interaction of narrative and reading. By reading this life journey, readers might find some inspiration for facing life and conversing with themselves.

第一章　那天，我直面了恐懼 1
第一節　追不到的落後人生 1
第二節　承認、面對、溯源 5
第三節、內在旅程的開始 6
第二章　後來，我選擇了敘說 8
第一節 為何選擇敘說 8
第二節 自我敘說 9
第三節　敘說品質與研究倫理 11
第四節 說什麼？ 13
第三章 孩子 19
第一節 舉手 19
第二節 獨子 26
第三節 春捲 32
第四節 家 41
第四章 少年 49
第一節 重生 49
第二節 愛戀 57
第三節 戀愛 66
第五章 我 77
第一節 陽光 77
第二節 烈日 95
第三節 驟雨 104
第六章 此刻 111
第一節 看見 111
第二節 前行 114
參考文獻 118

一、中文部分
Clandinin, D. J., & Connelly, F. M.（2003）：敘說探究：質性研究中的經驗與故事（蔡敏玲、余曉雯譯）。台北：心理。（原出版年：2000）
Crossley, M. L.（2004）：敘事心理與研究：自我、創傷與意義的建構（朱儀羚、康萃婷、柯禧慧、蔡欣志、吳芝儀譯）。嘉義：濤石文化。（原出版年：2000）
Riessman, C. K.（2003）：敘說分析（王勇智、鄧明宇譯）。台北：五南。（原出版年：1993）
White, H.（2005）：形式的內容：敘事話語與歷史再現（董立河譯）。北京：文津。（原出版年：1987）
何承穎（2012）。 害怕失敗對運動員行為表現之影響。https://bit.ly/3RLJVP7
洪瑞斌（2005）。尋覓噤聲的畫眉：對「男性失業者」的理解與重構。（未出版博士論文／碩士論文）。輔仁大學。
夏林清、鄭村棋（編譯）（1989）。行動科學：實踐中的探究。台北：張老師。
翁開誠（1997）。〈同理心開展再出發－成人之美的藝術〉。輔仁學誌－文學院之部，26 期，261-274。

二、英文部分
Argyris, C., Putnam, R., & Smith, D. M. (1985). Action science. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.
Atkinson, J. W. (1958). Motivation determinants of risk-taking behavior. Psychological Review, 6, 359-372.
Atkinson, J. W. (1964). An introduction to motivation. Princeton, NJ: Van Nostrand.
Beach, L. R., & Connolly, T. (2005). The psychology of decision making: People in organizations. SAGE Publications.
Birney, R. C., Brudick, H., & Teevan, R. C. (1969). Fear of failure. New York: Van Nostrand.
Conroy, D. E., Poczwardowski, A., & Henschen, K. P. (2001). Evaluative criteria and consequences associated with failure and success for elite athletes and performing artists. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 13, 300-322.
Ellis, C., & Bochner, A. P. (2000). Autoethnography, personal narrative, reflexivity: Researcher as subject. In N. K. Denzin & Y. S. Lincoln (Eds.), The handbook of qualitative research (2nd ed., pp. 733-768). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Glasser, W. (1998). Choice theory: A new psychology of personal freedom. HarperCollins.
Janis, I. L., & Mann, L. (1977). Decision making: A psychological analysis of conflict, choice, and commitment. Free Press.
Kahneman, D., & Tversky, A. (1979). Prospect theory: An analysis of decision under risk. Econometrica, 47(2), 263-291.
Lazarus, R. S. (1991). Emotion and adaption. New York: Oxford University Press.
Lincoln, Y. S., & Guba, E. G. (1985). Naturalistic inquiry. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
McAdams, D. P. (1993). The story we live by: Personal myths and the making of the self. New York, NY: William Morrow.
McClelland, D. C., Atkinson, J. W., Clark, R. A., & Lowell, E. L. (1953). The achievement motive. New York: Appleton-Century-Crofts.
McLeod, J. (2013). An Introduction to Counselling. McGraw-Hill Education.
Morgan, C., & Murray, H. A. (1935). A method for investigating fantasies: Thematic Apperception Test. Archives of Neurology and Psychiatry, 34, 289-306.
Murray, H. (1938). Explorations in personality: A clinical and experimental study of fifty men of college age. New York: Oxford University Press.
Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223-250.
Payne, M. (2006). Modern Social Work Theory. Oxford University Press.
Polkinghorne, D. E. (1988). Narrative knowing and the human sciences. Albany, NY: State University of New York.
Sagar, S. S., Lavallee, D., & Spray, C. M. (2009). Coping with the effects of fear of failure: A preliminary investigation of young elite athletes. Journal of Clinical Sport Psychology, 3, 73-98.
Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. HarperCollins.
Spence, D. R. (1982). Narrative truth and historical truth: Meaning and interpretation in psychoanalysis. New York, NY: Norton.
Tversky, A., & Kahneman, D. (1974). Judgment under uncertainty: Heuristics and biases. Science, 185(4157), 1124-1131.
White, M., & Epston, D. (1990). Narrative Means to Therapeutic Ends. W. W. Norton & Company.
Wubbolding, R. E. (2011). Reality therapy: Theories of psychotherapy series. American Psychological Association.
Zeidner, M. (1998). Test anxiety: The state of the art. New York: Plenum.